Stop Calling Communication an Excuse: The Irony of Being Told to “Just Listen” by Someone Who Never Does

We often get accused of “making excuses” when we’re really just trying to explain. But there’s an important distinction: a reason acknowledges what happened and why, while an excuse is meant to dodge accountability. I’ve learned—especially after my brain injury—that explaining myself isn’t about avoiding responsibility. It’s how I cope, process, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

The problem is when people shut down any explanation, assuming it’s always an excuse. That’s not communication, that’s control. Real listening means being open enough to hear the difference.