Letting Go of the Fear That My Best Won’t Be Good Enough — And How It Held Me Back

I was in Ann Arbor on Monday for a doctor’s appointment and, like I usually do when I’m in town, I texted one of my old professors to see if he was teaching that day. We grabbed coffee at the Starbucks and caught up for a bit.

At one point, I brought up Professor Donahue — the head of the Sport Management program and she also who taught my Business Communications class. Professor Wade goes, “Yeah, that would’ve been two years ago for you.”

I had to stop him.
“No,” I said, “it’s been longer than that. I’m three years out now.”

He looked confused, did the math in his head, and just said, “Oh my God… it’s already been that long!?”
Yeah. It has.

Honestly, it hit me about a month or two ago. I was back to job hunting — again — trying to find something in the field I actually got my degree in. I started out strong after graduation. I was applying everywhere, reaching out, trying to put myself in the right places. But after a while, the lack of responses, the “we went with someone else,” and the “thanks, but no thanks” messages start to wear you down. Especially when some job sites keep a running count of how many applications you’ve sent in.

Last year I made it through five interviews with the Minnesota Wild for a legal position. I didn’t get it because I didn’t have immigration law experience. Which sucked, yeah — but also, I had just six months of experience total in the legal field. Making it through five rounds with that? That still feels like something.

While we were talking Monday, Professor Wade and I started throwing around ideas about how I could break into sports media and he gave me a ton of people I could reach out to. He’s told me before — and reminded me again — that there are so many platforms and ways to put yourself out there now. You don’t have to wait for someone to give you a shot. You can create your own.

That’s exciting… but also terrifying.
What if no one cares? What if I fall flat on my face? What if it sucks?

So many what ifs.
But that’s all they are — what ifs. And I’ll never actually know unless I try.

Truth is, I’ve always held myself back in that way. I’ll procrastinate or not fully prepare so I can have an excuse if something doesn’t go well — like, “Well, I did only have a couple days to get that done anyway, imagine if I had more time.” It’s this weird safety net that protects me from feeling like I gave my best and still wasn’t good enough.

But now I’m realizing that by doing that, I never even give myself a real chance.

If I did go all in and didn’t cheat myself on time — on a project, a podcast, a video series, even just figuring out my voice — who knows what could happen? But I’ll never find out if I keep letting fear and excuses make the decisions for me.

Time to do something different.

I don’t really know what comes next. But I’m kind of over sitting around wondering “what if” while making excuses for why I haven’t done anything yet. If I’m being honest, I’ve held myself back more than anything or anyone else has.

So yeah… maybe it won’t work. Maybe no one will care. But maybe it will.

And I won’t know unless I actually give myself the shot.