Not a Silver Spoon in Sight

I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult, honestly. Yesterday at the bar, I had a customer asking where I lived, and when I told him I live a couple blocks over off Woodward, he goes, “Oh, you must a trust fund baby.” He said it kind of jokingly, and I don’t think he meant it to be rude, but still—like, what? I laughed a little and just said, “No, man. My mom had me at 17. I definitely didn’t grow up with a trust fund.” I even told him what I pay and how big my place is, and then I could see the look on their faces like, “Okay, that’s not too crazy.”

But that’s not the first time I’ve heard that. A few years ago, I was in Ann Arbor heading to the bank and a homeless guy asked me for money. I said no, and he snapped, “Spoiled f*ckin’ trust fund kids.” And I remember being pissed for a second, like—do you know what I’ve been through? I grew up with a single teen mom, picked up some bad money habits early on, couldn’t even get financial aid for school, had to wait until I could afford it myself. I got into trouble when I was younger and my family didn’t have the money to just get me out of it. I worked two jobs while going to Michigan full-time just to make it work.

It felt like a slap in the face. Like all that work, all the hard parts of my life didn’t mean shit because to him, I just looked like someone who had it easy. But then I stood in the bank, depositing rent money, and it hit me—he’s having a worse day than I am. Way worse. And maybe I do carry myself in a way now that makes people think I’ve always had it together.

Same thing happened at work once. A coworker was like, “Well, you grew up in Ann Arbor, right?” and I had to stop him—like, nope. Redford. Lived in Ann Arbor for two years. And he was surprised. Said I look like I grew up there. At first I was annoyed, like why would you just assume that? But then again… maybe that’s not a bad thing.

I guess what I’m saying is this: people will judge you based on what they see, and they’ll assume things. But they have no idea what you’ve gone through. And maybe if people think I grew up with a silver spoon or a trust fund, that’s just a sign of how far I’ve come. You’d never guess the hoops I’ve had to jump through—and yeah, some I put there myself—but they were still there, and I got through them.

So maybe it’s not an insult at all. Maybe it means I’ve built something solid enough that people can’t see the storm I came through to get here.